Another BORING morning at work. It's now that time of year where enough people are going on vacation so that nothing can ever get done. In fact, this morning is so boring, I was fantasizing about being trampled by a stampede of bison. Hey, it would hurt, but at least it would be more fulfilling than this.
I think it's appropriate to have a thread where readers introduce themselves to the blog. We're just getting started out, so we may only have a handful of readers, but hell, it beats sitting staring at your computer screen blankly and pretending the individual pixels are stars and your non-ergonomic desk chair is some sort of highly advanced spaceship carrying you far, FAR away from the mental and spiritual black hole that is your job.
Whether you have a desk job, a service job, or you are overskilled but unemployed, I KNOW for a fact that you are bored as hell right now. So introduce yourself!
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Contest #1
In the vein of how this blog was dreamed up, we will start with our first user submission contest. The contest is to fill in the blank with the funniest statement you can dream up in your repressive environment.
The grand prize will be a brass q-tip so that you can subtlely stab your own brain at work when you are bored out of your mind.
The brass q-tip
Here is an example to get your creative juices flowing in your mind that has doubtlessly been turned into a viscous paste after years upon years of toiling away in the land of banality some people call work.
Sometimes, work is so boring ___________ .The rules of the contest are: Each week submissions will be collected and our readers will vote on the funniest submissions. After the end of the last week in January, each week's finalist will go against the other in one final, boredom relieving poll.
The grand prize will be a brass q-tip so that you can subtlely stab your own brain at work when you are bored out of your mind.
The brass q-tip
Here is an example to get your creative juices flowing in your mind that has doubtlessly been turned into a viscous paste after years upon years of toiling away in the land of banality some people call work.
Sometimes work is so boring I could pour a pot of scalding hot water over myface, and then do it again to see if there is any pain the second time, or maybe all the nerve endings have burned off the first time so there will be no painPlease submit your replies in the comments of this thread! Good luck!
WHO KNOWS?
The History of the Concept
Dreamed up in the mentally castrating, repressive environment of Cubicleville, CSA (that's short for Corporate States of America) this blog is meant to be a soothing reminder to all office drones such as you and I of our own mortality. Just knowing that you are going to die someday can be an exciting and fun factoid in the middle of your flourescent light-induced migrane headache just before lunchtime when you are pretending to be more busy than you are just so you don't get saddled with busywork fit for a high school intern.
The concept of the blog started one day google chatting with gaya bukkake and contemplating my own violent demise. This particular morning I was yearning for something to violently grab hold of my face and do away with me. I was sleep deprived and bored as hell, and after getting off the Highway to Hell where there was a 26 mile traffic jam I had to contend with, I simply wanted to do without the instrument that allows me to percieve my own desperate state -- my brain. So I sent this message to her:
So in the vein of the above comment, gaya and I decided to start this blog. This will be a user-focused blog, consisting of many contests and themed user submissions. Because we want to give you, the worker drone, a chance to both face your own mortality and be creative in your downtime at work. But be sure to keep an important looking spreadsheet open in the background so if your boss walks by, you can quick click on it and look like you are doing work for a second!!!
JohnnyCougar
The concept of the blog started one day google chatting with gaya bukkake and contemplating my own violent demise. This particular morning I was yearning for something to violently grab hold of my face and do away with me. I was sleep deprived and bored as hell, and after getting off the Highway to Hell where there was a 26 mile traffic jam I had to contend with, I simply wanted to do without the instrument that allows me to percieve my own desperate state -- my brain. So I sent this message to her:
sometimes work is so boring you PRAY that some sort of blood-sucking octopus grabs ahold of your face with its tentacles and sucks your brain out through your eyesI also emailed it to my freind Angela who in turn emailed it to her own friends. And everyone got a kick out of it. Why? Because we are all in the same situation. We are all bright and creative people, but the majority of our day consists of meetings where no one can decide on what to do, typing up boring reports that are going to be glossed over and then thrown away after we spent 10 hours correcting the smallest detail, and pretending to be both entrhalled with our work and really busy. And even if we were in a position of higher power, we really wouldn't get to make our own decisions because there are 10 managers at least on each project and all of them have their own idea as to how things are supposed to go.
So in the vein of the above comment, gaya and I decided to start this blog. This will be a user-focused blog, consisting of many contests and themed user submissions. Because we want to give you, the worker drone, a chance to both face your own mortality and be creative in your downtime at work. But be sure to keep an important looking spreadsheet open in the background so if your boss walks by, you can quick click on it and look like you are doing work for a second!!!
JohnnyCougar
sometimes work is so boring
it makes me want to spend three hours creating a blog about how work is so boring
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